Tag: people
member name: anna g. vanwinkle
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December 17, 2006 07:19 PM EST --
While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by
a truck and dies.
His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. . . .
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June 12, 2006 06:18 PM EDT --
...."no, no, no. You put her shoes on before her clothes. That's not the way to dress a Barbie. Don't you know anything?"
"But I just wanted to keep playing."
"Well, . . .
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December 28, 2006 03:52 PM EST --
1. Always wear panties.
2.Lace does not a dress make.
3. When wearing a lace dress to mom's birthday party, wear panties.
4. If not wearing panties, don't wear minis.
5. If we must wear minis . . .
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January 25, 2007 04:50 PM EST --
The Universal Rules of Spaghetti
1. Spaghetti in a can does not count as spaghetti.
2. No matter how good Chef Boyardee makes anything . . .
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June 16, 2006 01:52 PM EDT --
My dad is the original Mr. Fix It. He's known world wide for his staunch snobbery of duct tape and those who use duct tape in the process of fixin' anything.
He's from . . .
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December 19, 2006 09:33 PM EST --
It's really been a weird season, and while I could forge on and write something holidayish, the weird is sticking to me more than the ribbons and bows. I'll forge ahead.
I have this relationship . . .
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December 26, 2006 01:22 PM EST --
I got up today and flashed through the morning news -- saw that Saddam has 30 days to have his death sentence commuted. The 30 days doesn't mean he has 30 days to live - it means someone has . . .
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July 02, 2007 12:05 PM EDT --
Here's today's groan!
I'd like to speak to an American IN FREAKING America when I call my credit card company to ask a simple quesiton.
No offense to the beautiful country . . .
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May 11, 2006 06:10 PM EDT --
"Get your pens and paper ready; List three things you love about yourself you have 30 seconds."
(This was the lead out question at a conference I attended last week)
While the "100 . . .
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December 04, 2006 01:30 PM EST --
As you all know, I have a certain affinity for the feline creature. AKA, can't live without them. When I saw this action figure I knew that somewhere out in the great beyond that a God . . .
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December 30, 2006 12:39 AM EST --
The former leader of Iraq is was born on April 28, 1937, in a small village of al-Auja near the town of Takrit. His early child hood was spent in a mud . . .
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June 05, 2007 11:45 AM EDT --
In a previous article about our upcoming road trip, I managed to get the song, Found A Peanut, stuck in Joan's head.
I would apologize but Joan called me an evil woman -- and I suppose that . . .
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April 13, 2006 11:34 AM EDT --
My mother called yesterday. My niece is getting married.
"Hey, sweetheart. I have something to ask you. I pulled my jewelry out of the safe deposit box. Do you mind if I give Jennie . . .
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April 01, 2006 05:53 PM EST --
Her feet were swollen up over the edges of her flats. They resembled baked muffins rising up from out of a muffin pan that had been filled a little too full before baking. She stood beside . . .
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May 22, 2006 10:16 AM EDT --
Every now and then social workers get to do some good. Here's Mary's story.
She wheeled herself into my office.
"Are you the new Social Worker?"
"Yes Ma'mam, what . . .
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November 20, 2006 11:45 AM EST --
(Please share your Thanksgiving Traditions in the comment box!!)
Everyone does something at Thanksgiving that's just a little bit odd. OK, maybe not. Anyway, here's my dirty Thanksgiving . . .
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February 27, 2006 08:54 PM EST --
Ode to An Imperfect Day at Work
Today I wanna quit!
and say 'OH sh*t'
Today, I want to quit.
Today I wanna hiss
and say 'to heck with this'
Today I want to hiss. . . .
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June 21, 2006 07:54 AM EDT --
The movers arrived yesterday. We'd done a lot of pre-packing & throwing out so their job is pretty easy.
To get ready for the move I made signs to hang everywhere. I am an organizational . . .
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November 15, 2006 11:21 PM EST --
Working from home has its merits.
The view, isn't so bad. I have an office with a view.
I can stick my head out of the back door and 'moo' with incoming friends.
Pajamas . . .
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December 19, 2006 12:06 AM EST --
dear husband,
somewhere between the deployments and being situationally single, I've become a selfish sleeper.
While the dog and the cats snore, your snoring is something somewhat shall we say on . . .
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