Tag: humor
member name: anna g. vanwinkle
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December 17, 2006 07:19 PM EST --
While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by
a truck and dies.
His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. . . .
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March 04, 2006 06:38 PM EST --
How to Sneeze Like a Woman:
Pieces is parts, parts is pieces. This is all well and good if you happen to be a Chicken McNugget. . . .
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May 18, 2006 12:04 PM EDT --
I don't know why he responds the way he does.
He knows I'm not after him.
I don't want him.
I don't need him.
If I did need him, I'd call. He'd come. It might take some coaxing, . . .
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May 21, 2006 11:58 PM EDT --
The Hedgehog Song
(I would enter this into skit night for my cabin if I were still a kid going to camp every summer....let's hear it for the hedgehogs!!)
There once was a tiny hedgehog,
who climbed . . .
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June 11, 2006 03:36 PM EDT --
OK. My dog is a good boy. Hang on, I'm being nudged.
"There, there. Good boy Tucker now go sit down. Well lay if you feel like it - it's close enough. We'll call it . . .
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April 02, 2006 07:00 AM EDT --
The woman who walks out our front door in the morning and the person who crawls out of my bed? don't even look related. The woman who crawls out of my bed in the mornings . . .
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March 14, 2006 11:14 PM EST --
They say that Cat's have much smaller heads than dogs, but what matters is what's between the ears. I don't know. For such sophisticated creatures, I find my pride of housecats very easy to . . .
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May 18, 2006 09:06 AM EDT --
Spanking Vs. Tough Love
I've always found that parent's are equally divided on this topic. Do we spank our children and make our point clearly and quick - or do we take the route . . .
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June 16, 2006 01:52 PM EDT --
My dad is the original Mr. Fix It. He's known world wide for his staunch snobbery of duct tape and those who use duct tape in the process of fixin' anything.
He's from . . .
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December 19, 2006 09:33 PM EST --
It's really been a weird season, and while I could forge on and write something holidayish, the weird is sticking to me more than the ribbons and bows. I'll forge ahead.
I have this relationship . . .
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August 02, 2007 01:03 PM EDT --
I wrote an article this morning on what it's like to get dumped by your cat. It niggled my mind back to way back when. Here goes.
20 Things On Getting Dumped
1. It hurts.
2. Even when you . . .
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March 04, 2006 08:13 PM EST --
My guys. Michael and Bryan. Big and Little. Shortage of Hair and lots of hair. Tall and short. Older and younger. Husband and Son. Priceless and Priceless. Life without them? Unimaginable times infinity. . . .
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March 30, 2006 10:15 PM EST --
Spring Break 2005 I drove my son to the airport to catch a plane to go visit his dad. We arrived as usual an hour and ten minutes before takeoff. We live in a small town - the two hour rule never applies. . . .
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April 01, 2006 09:40 AM EST --
It's so sad. To think a human would sink that low. To toss the dignity of a perfect feline to the winds of shame. I've been shaking my head ever since I heard the news.
Darren Lynn . . .
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May 25, 2006 10:19 AM EDT --
(I must apologize to the grumpy wakers. I wake up excited, already talking and if not muzzled or given dirty looks I will sing random crazy songs that fit the day. Coffee not needed for any of this.)
. . .
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December 04, 2006 01:30 PM EST --
As you all know, I have a certain affinity for the feline creature. AKA, can't live without them. When I saw this action figure I knew that somewhere out in the great beyond that a God . . .
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May 26, 2007 09:08 AM EDT --
Shhhhhhhhhhhh!! Listen. You can hear them too right??
I've been hearing voices for years but it just now clicked. I am not crazy!! I do not need shock therapy or a triple load of . . .
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June 21, 2006 09:31 AM EDT --
OKOKOKOKOKOK!! what are you reading this for -- get busy.
Report back. Pictures would be great! Can you stand more than ONE EGG on it's end at a time? Which end of the egg did you . . .
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May 10, 2008 07:32 PM EDT --
For the brave who dare to read, I'm wearing my big girl panties on this my First Mother's Day Without She Who Must Not Be Mentioned.
. . .
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April 02, 2006 11:01 AM EDT --
I was sitting in the back of my home church.
The church I grew up in. The pastor's subject that night?
Fo-er-giv-uh-nuss.
Forgiveness. Here's how his sermon went: (Imagine if you will . . .
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